Brief eines Bayern an die NASA

GREET GOD

I WRITE YOU, BECAUSE YOU MUST HELP ME. I HAVE SEEN YOUR SPACE SHUTTLE IN THE TELEVISION. IN COLOR. AND SO CAME ME THE IDEA TO MAKE HOLIDAYS IN THE WORLD- ROOM. ALONE. WITHOUT MY CRAZY WIFE.

I AM THE KRAXLHUBER. THE KING OF BAVARIA WAS MY CLOCK-CLOCK GRANDFATHER. I STAND ON A VERY BAD FOOT WITH MY WIFE. ALWAYS SHE SHOUTS WITH ME. SHE HAS A SHRILL VOICE LIKE A CIRCLE SAW. SHE LETS NO GOOD HAIR AT ME. SHE SAYS I AM A SCHLAPP-TAIL. SHE WANTS THAT I BECOME BÜRGERMASTER. BUT I WANT NOT BE BÜRGERMASTER. BUT I HAVE NOTHING AT THE HAT WITH THE POLITICAL SHIT. I WANT MY RUAH.

AND SO I WANT MAKE HOLIDAYS ON THE MOON. WITHOUT MY BAD HALF. BUT I TAKE MY DOG WITH ME. HE IS A BOXER. HIS NAME IS WURSTL. SO I WANT BOOK A FLIHT IN YOUR NEXT SPACE SHUTTLE. BUT PLEASE GIVE ME NOT A WINDOW PLACE. I WOULD KOTZ YOU THE ROCKET FULL, BECAUSE I AM NOT SWINDLE-FREE. AND NO STANDING-PLACE PLEASE...

AND PLEASE DO NOT TELL MY WIFE THAT I WANT GO ALONE. SHE HAS A BIG SCHROT- GUN. SHE WOULD MAKE A SIEVE FROM MY ASS. I NEED NOT MUCH COMFORT. A NICE DOUBLE-ROOM WITH BATH AND KLOO AND HEATING. AND WINDOWS WITH LOOK TO THE EARTH. SO I CAN LOOK THROUGH MAY FARGLASS AND SEE MY WIFE WORKING ON THE POTATOE FIELD. AND I AND MY DOG LAUGH US A BRANCH (HÄHÄHÄ). WE WILL KRINGEL OURSELF BEFORE LAUGHING (HÖHÖHÖHÖHÖ)!

IS WHAT LOOSE ON THE MOON? I NEED WORM WEATHER AND I HOPE THE SUN SHINES EVERY DAY. THIS IS VERY GOOD FOR MAY FROST-BOILS..

WITH FRIENDLY SERVUS